well well well. im bak after a long while, ive been lazy i know. so ima update you guys a litte bit, if you guys still use this, i know i do. well as of recently, i would say that the biggest thing on my heart is running my race. its funny how the most common thing mentioned when people talk about running a race, is the training that goes into, of course it makes sense right? but what about what to do when you slip up in the middle of it? this is why i love to refer to the story of David, when he messed up with Bathsheba. i relate to this story in so many ways, but the emphasis for me isnt on what David did, but its on his response when he was confronted by the prophet Nathan.  i was listening to a sermon, and the preacher said this. "People wonder if it is ever possible to serve God even after something like that happend? he goes on to say, "The answer is yes but your repentance has to be as notorious as the sin you commited". if you ever read psalm 51 you see the brokeness in David heart, you read a prayer from one heart to another. i always go bak to this to refuel myself. David understood something and it has to become a reality to all of us, that the life we live is not for ourselves, but for God! he understood that his sin wasnt against man but against God. i often stop to think the same thing about me, my sin stand before God, but the moment i turn from my sins, in that instance God casts them as far as the east is from the west. the key is to turn 180 degrees and keep running in to Gods arms and He will take care of the rest, just run your race.

I have learned something these past few months and that is that life doesn't change, people change over time. Some for the better some for the worse. You know I always expect myself to exceed my own expectations. I have dreams, Im a big dreamer. About three years ago i saw myself in a totally different spot than I am today. God knows though our every step and where it will lead. I envisioned myself by this time already settled down with my career in place and just holding my own. Making each breath worth while. but life has to happen right? We have to learn our lessons as well huh? The Lord gave me big dreams that Im very much chasing after because I believe that they were given to me for a reason. I just pray that today not tomarrow, my heart will awaken to the reality of Him. with the things placed on my lap and the responsibilities that come with that I expect that I will man up and keep marching forward. I do realize that over time life has taken place as usual things have hit me from left and right, and some of my personal views on certain things have changed. I refuse to let that effect my responsibility as a child of God. I thank God first that He brakes and rebuilds, shapes and molds into perfection. Ive noticed thats what He's been doing. Somewhere in His plan book he has the strategy set for how things will turn out. Though some things have changed about me one thing remains the same and that's my desire to know him more and love Him more intimately than today. My goal is to yearn after the very heart of God this year, David was onto something He understood Grace, he knew something! He understood the heart of God and walked with God. He knew somthing, and Im running after that. Theres no letting go. I will not let go. I will not let the world shape my thoughts of God, I will let God shape my thought of Him. I will let my time spent with Him open doors.

I will let Him reveal His secrets. So as time passes and I grow and change. I vow to not let my faith in Him change or waver. Lord you are my rock, my refuge, my fotress. I hang on to you, I know you've been hanging on to me! 

Today I sit here with more determination in my heart than ever before. Im not gonna say that never before have I ever been like this. Theres a sense of urgency resting on me. Honestly though, We have been put here on this earth for one sole purpose and thats to live in intimacy with God.

In the book of Exodus the Lord doesn't call His people out of Egypt into the promised land but to the mountain side where He would appear to them. The promise land is the reward that awaited them but only part of it. Because the delight is really found in intimately knowing God. Moses had that one moment on the moutain that set him apart from the Israelites. He had been in the presence of the Lord! God makes it known to Moses that's what He wanted for His people. Our purpose for being delivered was so that we can walk with God in intimacy. People only have one idea of God, and that is He saves people from trouble and provides. So when something happens thats not to their liking they ask Where was God? Thats just whats been happening for over 2,000 years now...The Isaelites fell in love with being pampered, and everything being provided for them, trouble came God bailed them out of trouble, war came God gave them favor. I believe that the only reason God did all that was to show His people one, that He is Lord, two, He loved His people, three, His promise to Abraham, Issac and Jacob and four, They were His chosen people!

So we've been called to intimacy with the Lord. First of all let me say this, this can not and will not happen unless you embrace the cross of Christ. It is by the power of His blood that we are cleansed, and made whole. It is through Him Jesus Christ that we are able to stand in the presence of the almighty Living God!

I also understand we are human, but that is no excuse. Moses was human, so was Enoch, and Elijah, Isaiah. They walked with God. We can too. We have been called to concecrate ourselves. To concecrate means to Sanctify, and to sanctify means to set apart. So as human as we are we must not be discouraged. between now and the time Our Lord Jesus returns we must spend every breath setting ourselves apart for Him. No matter how many times we mess up, and stumble. Thats why we call it running the race. We have been made citizens of heaven through Christ, we have been included in this, we too are His chosen people! Lets embrace Him! the cross!make everyday count. Lets not just barely slide by the gates of heaven, but let that door be wide open to us because of our walk with God. Lets set ourselves apart, so when that day comes and He returns, that we may be ready to stand in His presence.